When you've been writing so long that you just can't write a serious lab report anymore

"We then became so distraught at our lack of understanding that we all burst into tears and began to sing songs of mourning over our experiment. We also did ritual dancing to the chemistry gods in hopes that they would understand our pain over the failures that we had thus far been cursed with and divine upon us the knowledge that we needed in order to successfully worship their greatness. We told the gods that should they allow for our experiment to work that we would light up the chemistry heavens for them with our short-lived chemiluminesence and that each of them would be able to work with their organic chemistry sets late into the night without invoking the wrath of the physics gods as the they had longed to do for an inordinate amount of time. The chemistry gods were harsh in their reaction to our pleas and they refused to allow for us to have undue advantage over our neighboring groups. Thus, we continued on as though this had not happened, which, in reality, it had not."

- My tentative lab report, paragraph eight