When you've been writing so long that you just can't write a serious lab report anymore

"We then became so distraught at our lack of understanding that we all burst into tears and began to sing songs of mourning over our experiment. We also did ritual dancing to the chemistry gods in hopes that they would understand our pain over the failures that we had thus far been cursed with and divine upon us the knowledge that we needed in order to successfully worship their greatness. We told the gods that should they allow for our experiment to work that we would light up the chemistry heavens for them with our short-lived chemiluminesence and that each of them would be able to work with their organic chemistry sets late into the night without invoking the wrath of the physics gods as the they had longed to do for an inordinate amount of time. The chemistry gods were harsh in their reaction to our pleas and they refused to allow for us to have undue advantage over our neighboring groups. Thus, we continued on as though this had not happened, which, in reality, it had not."

- My tentative lab report, paragraph eight

It's not Maybelline

So I've shelved a surprisingly large amount of fashion, hair, and makeup magazines and books these past few weeks and I must say that they are extremely grabbing. I, the one has been decently against spending copious amounts of time on looks, have stopped and flipped through a few of them.

The Publishers do a fantastic job of making you wonder what the "beauty secrets", etc. are within.

But honestly they market off of the idea that people believe that those on the covers of their magazines/books have only become fabulously good-looking because of their advice. In reality the people on the covers were born looking nearly the same as they do on the cover. Makeup is not magic.

Which reminded me of this excessively long, but excessively awesome, quote by Aldous Huxley in Brave New World Revisited:

"'The cosmetic manufacturers,' one of their number has written, 'are not selling lanolin they are selling hope.' For this hope, this fraudulent implication of a promise that they will be transfigured, women will pay ten to twenty times the value of the emulsion which the propagandists have so skillfully related, by means of misleading symbols to a deep-seated and almost universal feminine wish - the wish to be more attractive to members of the opposite sex. The principles underlying this kind of propaganda are extremely simple. Find some common desire, some widespread unconscious fear or anxiety; think out some way to relate this wish or fear to the product you have to sell; then build a bridge of verbal or pictorial symbols over which your customer can pass from fact to compensatory dream, and from the dream to the illusion that your product, when purchased, will make the dream come true."

And another thing that I'm lost as to how people who purchase these magazines don't notice is the fact that every single issue of the magazine makes almost exactly the same claim. So, if you have one you have them all?

But before I finish I must say: the sample sprays and such they put in the pop magazines smell so wonderful.

Don't worry: I'm still alive

So I haven't updated in umm.. a while so I thought that I'd mention that my vital signs are still quite excellent.

And while I'm here I would like to comment on my lack of understanding of the point of slips. I'm pretty sure that everyone knows that I have legs above my knees. Slips just make skirts uncomfortable.

That is all.